Open Adoption

It’s your choice! As the birth mother (parent) you choose the level of communication you wish to have with the adoptive family and your child. If you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption , you may want to consider open adoption. Ask yourself,

• Do I want to choose who will raise my child?
• Does it matter to me to know if my child is safe and healthy?
• Do I want to watch my child grow up through photos, phone calls, letters, or visits?
• Do I want to be able to tell my child about his or her family background or other important information in the future? Y
• Do I want my child to know, for example, if he or she looks or acts like someone else in the family?

If your answer to any of these questions is “yes,” open adoption may be the best choice for you and your baby. Open adoption can give you peace of mind by knowing your child will have information about his or her family history, identity, and background.

There is no right choice that works for everyone. But learning more about your options will help you figure out what’s right for you and your child.

What is Open Adoption?

Open adoption is a form of adoption that allows birth parents to know and have contact with the adoptive parents and the adopted child. Adoption agencies or professionals you talk with may describe open adoptions differently. But in open adoptions, usually,

• Expectant mothers may take part in selecting the adoptive parents who will raise their children.
• Birth parents or other birth family members have some level of contact with the adoptive parents and the adopted child in some way depending on what feels comfortable for everyone.
• Adopted children know they have been adopted and may have relationships with one or more members of their birth families.
• Communication between birth mothers (and sometimes birth fathers, grandparents, or other relatives) and adoptive parents may take place through letters, phone calls, e-mails, or visits.
• Families communicate in ways that feel comfortable to them. Some send pictures and brief notes. Others celebrate holidays together.

The type of contact and how often it happens will depend on the needs and choices of everyone involved, and may change over time. Open adoption does not mean co-parenting or parenting your child together with the adoptive parents. Like all forms of adoption, the adoptive parents will have all permanent legal rights and responsibilities for parenting and raising the child.

Benefits of Open Adoption for Birth Parents

Choosing adoption is a loving decision that shows you care for your child and want to take control of your unplanned pregnancy. The benefits for you of placing your child through open adoption might be,

• A sense of control over decisions about placing your child with adoptive parents
• Comfort in knowing your child is growing up safe, healthy, and loved
• Support in dealing with your feelings of grief and loss that can come up after placement
• Personal relationships with the adoptive parents and the child
• Greater satisfaction with the adoption process

Birth fathers, grandparents, and other members of the birth families also can benefit from communication with the adopted child and/or the adoptive family.

Benefits of Open Adoption for Your Child

Open adoption can provide your child with a sense of connection and completeness. Openness may answer many of the questions that adopted children in closed adoptions often struggle to answer such as:

• Who am I?
• What are my birth parents like?
• Why was I placed for adoption?

The possible benefits of open adoption for your child might include,

• Links to his or her birth mother, and possibly birth father, brothers, and sisters—doing away with the need to search for them
• Removal of the feelings of secrecy and shame that can come up at different points in his or her life, although not all of the time
• Increased self-worth, and a sense of identity and security that comes from firsthand answers to identity questions
• A sense of belonging, which may lessen his or her feelings of abandonment
• Connection to his or her cultural and ethnic background and ancestry
• Better access (than would be possible in a closed adoption) to important medical information, such as factors that can lead to disease, or medical conditions that exist in the birth families
• Better understanding of the reasons for placement
• A sense of knowing that he or she looks like someone else or has characteristics that come from a blood connection

Benefits of Open Adoption for Adoptive Parents

Adoptive parents, who may be frightened at first by the idea of an open adoption, may come to realize, once they are comfortable in their new parental roles, that they also benefit. Some of the benefits for them might include,

• Access to one or more birth family members who can answer background and other questions that the adoptive parent cannot
• Access to important medical information
• Warm relationships between birth and adoptive families that can create uplifting and valuable lifelong connections for the adopted child and lessen the sense of loss he or she may feel
• Delight in being “chosen” as adoptive parents and more confidence in parenting that comes from being chosen
• Less fear of birth parents reclaiming their child because they know the birth parents and their wishes