When navigating the adoption process, the most common form discussed is “closed adoption.” The term itself leaves no room for confusion or further explanation. Agreeing to a closed adoption means that there is no contact between the adoptive family, adoptee and birth family until the child becomes a legal-aged adult. It is then that they have the choice of contacting their birth family or not. On the outside, it seems to be pretty cut and dry regarding the expectations and widely understood.
Have you ever noticed how a simple smile or positive phrase can make a huge difference in someone’s day? Words have layers. Deep meanings. They have the power for both good and bad. In a sense, they carry an unexplainable energy.
Adoption is an incredible journey for both birth and adoptive parents. The process is filled with many significant milestones that start from the moment that you decide to pursue adoption. Today, over 95% of adoptions are open, so contact between birth and prospective adoptive parents is very common.
“Living an experience is to know it. For the birth mother, however, living the experience and understanding the totality of the experience may take a lifetime journey.” — Donna Portuesi, from “Impact of the Birthmother’s Experience, Then and Now”
You’re 16. Six months pregnant. No one knows. You had done your best hiding the reality of a new life growing inside you. Even from your parents. The due date was quickly approaching, and you know you want to make a plan for adoption, but nothing’s prepared yet. You don’t feel like you can tell anyone because of the shame, but soon you won’t be able to hide anymore. What do you do?
Adoption is beautiful in every sense of the word. It’s a selfless act, one full of nothing but love and meaningful consideration. As a pregnant woman who has decided to place her child with an adoptive family, you know this to be true. You also know you’ll soon take on a new role – that of birth mother.